Gloomberg News

Gnome: So Errch. You used to be known as one of Fairylands most vile characters. Can you tell me a little bit about your early years that will let the Non Fairyland Creatures (NFLCs) know why you became the way you are?
Errch: Well, to get to know that, it all goes back to my childhood. I was like most children. I played and had friends. My best friend, though, was ole Ho Ho.

Gnome: And who is Ho Ho?
Errch: Ho Ho was the nickname I gave my friend. He was a jolly boy and was always laughing. Ole Ho Ho had a deep voice too. When he laughed it was ho, ho, ho and not ha, ha, ha. Anyway, you and everyone else know ole Ho Ho as Santa Claus. And so we were best friends all throughout school. We attended Fairy Tale Elementary School, where there were all sorts of different creatures. There were magical elves like Santa and spooks like me. There were also ghouls, fairies, witches, trolls, giants, zombies, and others.

Gnome: You had a nickname for Santa. Did he have one for you?
Errch: Because I liked to play pranks on people, he gave me the nickname Mr. Trick. You may have heard that name in one of my songs.

Gnome: What happened after graduation?
Errch: After Santa and I graduated, my friend moved to the snowy, cold North Pole. He built an igloo to live in and started making toys to sell. Adults and kids loved his toys so much that Ho Ho built a large castle and started a toy factory in it. He became so successful that he decided to give children all around the world, toys for free, once a year at Christmas. Some people have other names for this time of year. They know it's not the name but the meaning that matters.

Gnome: What about you? What did you do after graduation?
Errch: I packed up and moved to a nice dreary crypt and started a bakery to make candy.

Gnome: And how did that go?
Errch: Not too well. It was kind of damp down in the crypt, so the candy was always growing mold. I thought that was a good extra touch, sort of like icing on the cake. Except this was even better with mold on the icing. I personally love green mold on white icing. But, I found out humans don't like that combo too much. So I had to close down the shop.

Gnome: And what happened to you?
Errch: Due to my failure I became irritated at the surface dwellers and their candy holiday of Halloween. No one wanted my special candy, so why should they have their candy?

Gnome: But you have changed now. Or at least a little bit.
Errch: I did change. It happened one Halloween night.

Gnome: What happened?
Errch: Basically, I was doing something naughty and a good fairy girl happened to be around at the time. She worked some of her fairy magic and did a trick on me to help me change my ways. You can read the full account of this story in my book "Errch's A Gift for a Fiend."

Gnome: Did you mean A Gift for a Friend?
Errch: No. I was a fiend at the time. I later became a friend.

Gnome: Circling back around to Santa, some people probably wonder what's the difference between you and Santa Claws. What would you say is the main difference?
Errch: The main difference, besides that he is obviously an elf and I'm a spook, is that he delivers more gifts at his time of year. I don't leave but one or a couple of presents. Maybe a big piece of chocolate candy, a bag of it, or maybe one or two wrapped presents of some kind. Not too much. I'd like to bring as much as Ho Ho, but my batcats are not as strong as his magical reindeer, and therefore I can't carry as much in my casket.

Gnome: Some people think Halloween is a bad and evil day. What do you think?
Errch: Such nonsense. The Counsel of Fairy Tale Creatures placed a spell on the Halloween date of October 31st, and chose it due to it being written backwards from the bad number of the 13th (as some believe), so as to give it the opposite effect of being a good date of fun for children.

Gnome: So why did the calendar spell not work on you? The fairy girl had to charm you.
Errch: I wasn't really that bad or evil. Just a little naughty. So the spell overlooked me.

Gnome: Got a couple of personal questions for you. What is your favorite drink?
Errch: I like lime Ghoul-Aid.

Gnome: Which is your favorite batcat?
Errch: None of them. Have you ever tried feeding 13 batcats?

Gnome: Then which is your favorite minion goon?
Errch: None of them. If you are around goobers all day, you'll know what I mean. Kids ... if this is being read to you in a classroom ... give your teacher a hug. They truly know what I mean.

Gnome: So you leave your surprise for kids underneath a Spooky Tree?
Errch: That's right. People can either make a physical tree or pull up an e-tree on a phone, tablet, or TV. I'll set a surprise near it.

Gnome: If someone wants to contact you, how do they do it?
Errch: You can contact me at --> the.errch@gmail.com .

Gnome: Well, that's all the questions I have for you today. Any last comment for our readers?
Errch: Just that the kids need to get to bed early on Halloween night. That way, I'll have time to get to all the children before sunrise the next day.

Gnome: A happy Halloween to you Errch!
Errch: And a dreary, scary, gloomy, stinky Halloween to you.